You just cannot change people

At the 1967 convocation dinner of the then University of Singapore, MM Lee (then PM) gave a speech to the new graduates.

I quote one interesting paragraph:

"But no single anecdote, I think, illustrates the problem more vividly than this. He recounted the fortunes of a great surgeon who occupies a position of great eminence in civilian life. He was fully aware of what he required by way of his diet. Yet he could not control his craving for cigarettes, and he bartered precious calories for cigarettes. He knew that he would die but he went on doing it. And he died. "

This is not only true of the many many smokers still out there today, but the rule applies to me as well. You see, I love fatty meat, pork lard and prawn heads, all the unhealthy stuff. I am probably going to suffer one day because of this, I try to control but nothing is going to keep me away.

So this is a mental thing, of the mind and rather complicated. I am not going to try to explain this but I think it applies to emotions as well, attachment to certain states of mind that no amount of persuasion nor logic will change.

Not that people will never change, because human beings do have the positive capacity to be influenced for the better. But this needs time, opportunity and possibly strategy. In the meantime, for me, just let things be.

[Post Note on 27 Jun 09: While playing badminton this afternoon, I think there are two qualifiers on my above post. First, that if people show the desire to learn or to change, we must help them, because they have given you a reason to. Second, reflecting on myself, the learning point is to always show to the people around you that you welcome their comments and criticisms, or lose the benefit of their counsel.]

乒乓的魅力

父亲的新武器

父亲近来爱上了乒乓运动，每个星期五下班后都和同事狠狠地打上好几个小时。随着技术的进步和兴趣的提升，现在用的从中国买的‘双喜’牌拍有一点力不从心。朋友介绍了表现较佳的拍子，今天下午便和父亲到‘书城’的一间运动器材店选‘武器’。

我小学时也常打乒乓，用的是当年父亲买的双喜拍，想想在校园后的乒乓桌上我的拍子带给我许多快乐。今天，很高兴轮到我有机会买拍给父亲。父亲选了喜欢的板和胶，让店员把胶黏在板上，我们在一旁看着这一把新武器的诞生。 照片上的乒乓拍，漂亮吧！柄上还有精致的设计。

运动，特别是集体的，有以下的好处：

一，维持身体的健康。

二，通过运动，身体会制造钙，对防止像骨质疏松症的疾病有帮助。

三，促进人与人的沟通。人是群体的动物，我们都需要朋友，特别是年纪大时，可能比较难交新朋友，运动是交朋友的好桥梁。

Vitas 超级男高音

我决定每天都要吃早餐!

因为电台 1003 文鸿大力推荐， 所以回家第一时间便寻找这个MTV。

一切由自己开始

就一般的人际交往说，如果习惯先要求别人就是陷入一个误区了。

你要别人爱你，你就得给别人以理由。我们周围的人都是普通人，没有圣贤。人家为什么要喜欢你？为什么要做你的好朋友？不给人家一个理由是不行的。

为什么先要别人接纳自己，而不是自己先去接纳别人？为什么要求别人先给予，而自己不先付出？人可以要求自己先付出，但不能这样要求别人。你说是不是？

~ 摘自开复网

有意思的话

1. 固步自封的人才会永远不犯错误.

2. 学校传授的不是知识, 而是学习方法.

3. 创造的秘诀是博采众长.

4. 人的价值不在于他能获取什么, 而在于他能奉献什么. 不要只做一个成功的人, 还要努力做有价值的人.

5. 最重要的事情, 不要停止疑问.

6. 人有选择的自由, 但是人没有不选择的自由.

7. 记住该记住的, 忘记该忘记的, 改变不能改变的, 接受不能接受的.

~ 摘自开复网

Analogy of how to keep one's back straight

After saying goodbye to wushu, it is hello taiji. We went for our first class last Sunday. I was a little worried beforehand on the quality of CC teachers but thankfully the teacher was very experienced and sincere. Besides sharing the movemenets, he shared the theoretical side of the martial art form, especially how it helps in wellbeing and health.

I remember an excellent analogy he used.

To remind practitioners to keep their backs straight, the typical example given is to imagine one's hair is being pulled up. But for someone who has never had such an experience, it is quite difficult to imagine.

But this teacher had an interesting analogy with a local flavour. He said to imagine you are a kaciam puteh seller. I am quite fortunate to have observed, in my very very tender years, the vanishing sight of a kaciam puteh man, head-dress and all, balancing the 1 metre diameter tray on top of his head.

Now, that's easy to imagine. And you better keep that back straight.

Chinese Badminton Team MTV

《了凡四训》摘要

就算命中应该荣华发达，还是要常常当作不得意想。就算碰到顺当吉利的时候，还是要常常当作不称心，不如意来想。就算眼前有吃有穿，还是要当作没钱用，没有房子住想。就算旁人喜欢你，敬重你，还是要常常小心谨慎，做恐惧想。就算你家世代有大声名，人人都看重，还是要常常当做卑微想。就算你学问高深，还是要常常当做粗浅想。

　　这六种想法，是从反面来看问题，能够这样虚心，道德自然会增进，福报也自然会增加。

　　讲到远，应该要想把祖先的德气，传扬开来；讲到近，应当想父母若有过失，要替他们遮盖起来；这里即是说明孟子的‘父为子隐，子为父隐’的大义所在；讲到向上，应该要想报答国家的恩惠；讲到对下，应该要想造一家的福；说到对外，应该要想救济别人的急难；说到对内，应该要想预防自己的邪念和邪想。

　　这六种想法，都是从正面来肯定问题，能够常常如此的存心，必然能成为正人君子。

　　一个人必须要每天知道自己有过失，才能天天改过，若是一天不知道自己的过失，就一天安安逸逸的算自己没过失。如果每天都无过可改，就是每天都没有进步；天底下聪明俊秀的人实在不少，然而他们道德上不肯用功去修，事业不能用功去做；就只为了因循两个字，得过且过，不想前进，所以才耽搁了他们的一生。

子曰

孔子的中心思想是个

仁

仁的表现是

己欲立而立人

己欲达而达人

己所不欲

他勿施于人

Wee Kim Wee's Three Rules

Our late President Wee Kim Wee never had a chance to study in a university, but in his later years was accorded an honorary degree by NUS. In his speech, President Wee shared three rules which he has lived by in his adult life.

Rule 1: Be contented and happy. He said,"You will soon learn that in the world we live in today, peace of mind is not only very important but crucial. The alternative is "stress"...

Rule 2: Treat every person, no matter how lowly he may be,as a fellow human being.

Rule 3: Practice the virtue of humility.

On the 1st rule, I remembered a saying by Master Zheng Yan who said,"一个人的快乐，不是因为他拥有得多，而是因为他计较得少."

I also recalled one of Panda Xiong's song: 因为太去在意，烦恼永不停。越是得不到，越在意。。。

Source: http://www.lib.nus.edu.sg/nusbiodata/bioweekw1994.htm

世界上最遥远的距离

世界上最遥远的距离

不是生与死，

而是我站在你面前，

你却不知道我爱你。

-- 张小娴

放屁放成艺术

笑一笑，少一少！

Dana giving up on the egg

This was before she attempted, in the earlier post, to swallow the entire egg.