Middle child left out?

A couple of weeks ago during lunch, my colleagues (those with children) were debating whether it will be good to have 2 or 3 kids. It is the usual argument, one will be too lonely(for the kid), two seems just nice and three, the middle one will feel left out.

So I was there minding my own chicken (we were eating chicken rice!) because I am seriously not interested in all these talk on children.

Suddenly, one of them asked me, hey, since you were one of three kids, and the middle one, did you ever felt left out. Choking on my piece of chicken, and straining my brain to instantly unlock decades-old memories of childhood, I really cannot think of any incident. So I said no.

But this question was left lingering and the answer actually is yes. There were certain occasions I felt left out.

In my innocent childhood years, I always have this feeling that my mum doted more on my elder brother and my father liked my younger brother more.

But thankfully, my character is quite easy going and I found other avenues to channel my emotions for example in books and sports. I also had very good friends in school.

But on reflection, I have also been a difficult child. I grew extremely argumentative in secondary school and loathed housework so my mum was always scolding me. My dad has always been quiet but he could be very fierce at times. I always resented this and would antagonize him by being sarcastic. He always threatened to slap me but he never did.

Being a Buddhist, I would like to think that I have done something good in the 'past' and despite all my emotional challenges in my early years, I think I grew up rather normal and balanced! haha

I don't know whether it is karma, but as life would have it, my parents visit my place every week nowadays and this week when they are away travelling, I miss their company. It also seemed weird that they were not around for our weekly taiji lessons.